"Dear Britney. Why, if you have to slither in and out of cars, do clumsy imitations of gymnasts and wear clothes that are just too tight, trashy or skimpy, do you have to pose in front of photographers all the time? We've seen the body parts, poses and clumsy attention-seeking tricks before. You're wearing out your welcome. Some people never can turn away from a train wreck, so who can blame the photographers for waiting for your next one? Do you really want captions such as TMZ's own 'Victim of Pap Smear' and 'Does Britney Change Clothes for Cash' to be your legacy? You can do much better."